Who would have thunk it?

Tonight our kickball team will face off against More Cowbell and more than likely we'll pull out our second win of the season. We're 1-3-2 so far. We're not a bad team, we've just got an incredibly tough schedule this season. (I know, that's what they all say)

But it's true... we play in one of the most competitive divisions in the US. Also, DC is the hub of WAKA since it's conception at a happy hour at Kelly's Irish Times back in 1997. There are over 30 divisions in the greater DC area, with around 16 teams per division, with up to 26 players per team. That's at least 10,000 kickball players in the DC area through WAKA alone (and there are at least 2 other regional kickball leagues here, too)

So, yes, at pretty much any given moment, there is a kickball game going on somewhere in DC. And since it's a social sport, there are many a happy hour to be attended before and/or after each game.

This week it has come to my attention that the backlash against us kickballers has reached a critical mass. It would seem that there are a number of folks who despise us for one reason or another. Yes, we wear brightly colored team shirts. Yes, when we amass at a bar, we pretty much take it over... and yes, many of us end up stumbling our way home drunk as a college freshman. But are those really good enough reasons to start an underground terrorist organization?

Apparently to a few hundred local residents, it is.

Enter, the Anti Yuppie Kickball Guerilla Front. Their stated mission is to disrupt, by any means necessary, our evenings of ball kicking. This conspiracy has been quietly growing since early 2007 and apparently has started striking out against kickballers around the city in the past few weeks. Check out the tactics they advocate on their website.

A week or so ago, they showered our post-game libations with shredded kickball scraps. Rumor has it that they've run through games and stolen the kickball, then fled in an awaiting vehicle. They may have also showered a game or two with dog poo, but those rumors have yet to be substantiated.

Sadly, their antics (and more likely, their website) have attracted the attention of the US Marshals. On October 4th, at an "underground" meeting at a bar in DC, their leader was arrested on charges of advocating terrorism and providing material support to a terrorist organization. WHAT?!? I don't know whether to laugh or to cry about this!

Seriously. This happened.

Obviously, I don't agree with a group set to destroy a new favorite pasttime for thousands of twenty-somethings. But at the same time, should we really be considering this organization a TERRORIST GROUP? (doesn't it instill fear in you, just to see the words "terrorist group"?)

Apparently, he was also wanted on some drug trafficking charges in other states, so I suppose his arrest was warranted (HA!) but I'm still waiting for the Bush Administration to hold the press conference letting America know that we are once again safer, thanks to Homeland Security, the FBI, and likely the NSA, for stopping this homegrown terror netowork in its tracks before hundreds of innocent yuppies were robbed of their ability to blow off some steam on a Wednesday night (and maybe even given poo showers).

Tim Griffin... you're outta here

Most of you probably don't know who Tim Griffin is. That's not surprising.


Well, take a few moments to read up on him.


Ok, so you don't want to do the research on your own, huh? Well, long and short of it, he was VERY closely involved in the 2000 Florida recount (on Bush's side of it all) and also heavily involved in the 2004 Presidential Election. Most notably, in 2004, he was caught red-handed emailing a "caging list" to Carl Rove with 70,000 names of students, military personnel and homeless voters, from predominantly black and Democratic areas.


He was later appointed the U.S. Attorney in Arkansas when Bud Cummins was forced to resign in the recent and ongoing scandal involving Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.


Okay, so now you're up to speed. Basically, he's a loyal bushie and is definitely not the most upstanding or moral individual.


Well, he resigned, effective June 1, to "pursue opportunities in the private sector" after all that finagling to get him the position in the first place. The timing of the resignation is especially interesting...


He resigned on the day that (just hours after, actually) Michigan Representative John Conyers asked for information regarding the emailed caging lists.


Those lists, by the way, were obtained by Greg Palast, investigative reporter and author of Armed Madhouse.

Please note that in the CNN article about the resignation (which was difficult for me to even locate after hearing the news) there is no mention of his background in any of these scandals.

But try to remember his name... I have a funny feeling he'll be popping up again... He's now looking to work for Fred Thompson's campaign... I guess that's as close to the private sector as he can get.

moving on

Last night we had a going away "party" for my roommate.

I put party in quotes because basically we just went to two bars and got wasted. He had about 15 or 20 people in his entourage... I was pretty impressed. Then again, at least 5 of those people were just along for the ride. I wish I had pictures of the night, but my girlfriend's camera is currently broken... and mine isn't worth using.

This guy has been a true friend in the past, and made things very difficult for me in the recent present (which technically... is now the past). So I'm kind of unsure how to feel about his departure.

When I moved out of my ex-girlfriend's jungle he gave me a place to crash on his couch for as long as I needed to figure out where I was going to live. Ultimately, we were able to convert his unheated basement into a bedroom and convince the landlord to allow a 4th roommate without raising the rent. I'm still not certain how he pulled that off, but he did. Now, although I had no heat in my room, the rent was about $200/mo cheaper than anywhere else I could have been living.

He and I were practically inseperable for the months to come...

we went to the same bars together...
we were part of the same bowling team...we were on the same kickball team...we went on the most excellent ski weekends to Vermont a few times a year...
we've gone whitewater rafting...we've even gone to Tahoe...

He helped introduce me to my girlfriend by encouraging each of us to journey to another bar together after we'd met while in the company of mutual friends.

There are so many things that I look back on with fond memories.

But recently, things had changed. And it all started with a drunken "communication" he made to my girlfriend back in July, shortly after she'd moved back to DC from Minneapolis.

Now, my roommate was never one to have had a working brain filter, so once the booze started draining down his throat, the verbal repercussions to strangers were inevitable. I'm truly surprised that he never got into any fights throughout the years, and I had to repeatedly remind him that if he had provoked the fight, he was on his own... if the fight was uncalledfor, then I'd have his back. I think those reminders were very powerful and probably kept him straight.

Anyway, back to the incident at hand...

We're back at the alma mater for an alumni weekend. We're at the favorite bar and he was about 5 or 6 Beams deep, when suddenly from nowhere he verbally communicated the word "whore" to my girlfriend. She quickly took offense (as any self-respecting woman should) and walked away. He realized that he'd offended, even if that wasn't his intention (which to this day is still unclear), and tried to backpedal by offering to buy her a drink as an apology. My lovely little lady can be a bit stubborn and decided to decine the offer. Her point was that the statement was completely unneccesary and she felt that she had the right to be angry for more than a minute or two.

Fast-forward to 4 hours later...

The roommate is now 5 sheets to the wind and barely keeping his eyes open while we're shooting pool in the basement. Somehow he manages to stumble over to my girlfriend with just enough energy to slur something ending in the word "slut". Once again, offense was taken, but this time it was a big deal. This time, he made the decision to walk over (there were only 4 of us in the room... his girlfriend was the 4th) make the comment directly to her face, then stumble away.

She broke down in tears, he and I had words, his girlfriend was embarrassed... but no apology was issued. Apparently there is some "principle" that no one but my roommate is aware of, because of which an apology is out of the question. I've had this discussion with him multiple times over the months, letting him know precisely that it has crushed our friendship and that a simple "I'm truly sorry and I don't know why I said it" would resolve the vast majority of the issues still lingering. I informed him that I was glad to know that our close friendship was worth so little to him that he was able to throw it all away on 2 drunken words.

That was July... since then, I spend almost all my free time with my girlfriend and barely even make a weekly appearance at our place. She is still uncomfortable around him... so she won't stay at my place very often, and I always feel bad wanting to put her in a situation that would make her skin crawl every minute that she's there.

But today he's moving. His stuff was in the UHaul last night, and by now I'm sure he's on the road. I didn't say goodbye... not last night when I jumped in the cab while they were walking toward the Metro... not this morning when I woke up... and I won't be sending him a 'goodbye' email, either. I guess it's the "principle."