Who would have thunk it?
Tonight our kickball team will face off against More Cowbell and more than likely we'll pull out our second win of the season. We're 1-3-2 so far. We're not a bad team, we've just got an incredibly tough schedule this season. (I know, that's what they all say)
But it's true... we play in one of the most competitive divisions in the US. Also, DC is the hub of WAKA since it's conception at a happy hour at Kelly's Irish Times back in 1997. There are over 30 divisions in the greater DC area, with around 16 teams per division, with up to 26 players per team. That's at least 10,000 kickball players in the DC area through WAKA alone (and there are at least 2 other regional kickball leagues here, too)
So, yes, at pretty much any given moment, there is a kickball game going on somewhere in DC. And since it's a social sport, there are many a happy hour to be attended before and/or after each game.
This week it has come to my attention that the backlash against us kickballers has reached a critical mass. It would seem that there are a number of folks who despise us for one reason or another. Yes, we wear brightly colored team shirts. Yes, when we amass at a bar, we pretty much take it over... and yes, many of us end up stumbling our way home drunk as a college freshman. But are those really good enough reasons to start an underground terrorist organization?
Apparently to a few hundred local residents, it is.
Enter, the Anti Yuppie Kickball Guerilla Front. Their stated mission is to disrupt, by any means necessary, our evenings of ball kicking. This conspiracy has been quietly growing since early 2007 and apparently has started striking out against kickballers around the city in the past few weeks. Check out the tactics they advocate on their website.
A week or so ago, they showered our post-game libations with shredded kickball scraps. Rumor has it that they've run through games and stolen the kickball, then fled in an awaiting vehicle. They may have also showered a game or two with dog poo, but those rumors have yet to be substantiated.
Sadly, their antics (and more likely, their website) have attracted the attention of the US Marshals. On October 4th, at an "underground" meeting at a bar in DC, their leader was arrested on charges of advocating terrorism and providing material support to a terrorist organization. WHAT?!? I don't know whether to laugh or to cry about this!
Seriously. This happened.
Obviously, I don't agree with a group set to destroy a new favorite pasttime for thousands of twenty-somethings. But at the same time, should we really be considering this organization a TERRORIST GROUP? (doesn't it instill fear in you, just to see the words "terrorist group"?)
Apparently, he was also wanted on some drug trafficking charges in other states, so I suppose his arrest was warranted (HA!) but I'm still waiting for the Bush Administration to hold the press conference letting America know that we are once again safer, thanks to Homeland Security, the FBI, and likely the NSA, for stopping this homegrown terror netowork in its tracks before hundreds of innocent yuppies were robbed of their ability to blow off some steam on a Wednesday night (and maybe even given poo showers).
