Who would have thunk it?

Tonight our kickball team will face off against More Cowbell and more than likely we'll pull out our second win of the season. We're 1-3-2 so far. We're not a bad team, we've just got an incredibly tough schedule this season. (I know, that's what they all say)

But it's true... we play in one of the most competitive divisions in the US. Also, DC is the hub of WAKA since it's conception at a happy hour at Kelly's Irish Times back in 1997. There are over 30 divisions in the greater DC area, with around 16 teams per division, with up to 26 players per team. That's at least 10,000 kickball players in the DC area through WAKA alone (and there are at least 2 other regional kickball leagues here, too)

So, yes, at pretty much any given moment, there is a kickball game going on somewhere in DC. And since it's a social sport, there are many a happy hour to be attended before and/or after each game.

This week it has come to my attention that the backlash against us kickballers has reached a critical mass. It would seem that there are a number of folks who despise us for one reason or another. Yes, we wear brightly colored team shirts. Yes, when we amass at a bar, we pretty much take it over... and yes, many of us end up stumbling our way home drunk as a college freshman. But are those really good enough reasons to start an underground terrorist organization?

Apparently to a few hundred local residents, it is.

Enter, the Anti Yuppie Kickball Guerilla Front. Their stated mission is to disrupt, by any means necessary, our evenings of ball kicking. This conspiracy has been quietly growing since early 2007 and apparently has started striking out against kickballers around the city in the past few weeks. Check out the tactics they advocate on their website.

A week or so ago, they showered our post-game libations with shredded kickball scraps. Rumor has it that they've run through games and stolen the kickball, then fled in an awaiting vehicle. They may have also showered a game or two with dog poo, but those rumors have yet to be substantiated.

Sadly, their antics (and more likely, their website) have attracted the attention of the US Marshals. On October 4th, at an "underground" meeting at a bar in DC, their leader was arrested on charges of advocating terrorism and providing material support to a terrorist organization. WHAT?!? I don't know whether to laugh or to cry about this!

Seriously. This happened.

Obviously, I don't agree with a group set to destroy a new favorite pasttime for thousands of twenty-somethings. But at the same time, should we really be considering this organization a TERRORIST GROUP? (doesn't it instill fear in you, just to see the words "terrorist group"?)

Apparently, he was also wanted on some drug trafficking charges in other states, so I suppose his arrest was warranted (HA!) but I'm still waiting for the Bush Administration to hold the press conference letting America know that we are once again safer, thanks to Homeland Security, the FBI, and likely the NSA, for stopping this homegrown terror netowork in its tracks before hundreds of innocent yuppies were robbed of their ability to blow off some steam on a Wednesday night (and maybe even given poo showers).

What If...?

The brainchild of Francis Stokes, the series "God, Inc." asks the question...

What if all the problems on Earth are really were caused not by a spiteful deity, or karma, or fate, but just plain office politics and the Peter Principle?

And I must say... it's pretty well put together. Of course, the actors are relatively amateur, but not too bad.

Episode 1


Episode 2


Episode 3


Episode 4


Episode 5


more to come... (I hope)

My daily prayer...

I wish I could take credit for authoring this, but alas it was sent to me in jpeg by my friend (and former roommate from years ago), Redneck.

I have no idea of it's origin, but it shall forever be with me.

The Beer Prayer

Our Lager,

Which art in barrels,

Hallowed be thy drink.

Thy will be drunk,

(I will be drunk),

At home as in the tavern.

Give us this day our foamy head,

and forgive us our spillages,

as we forgive those who spill

against us.

And lead us not into incarceration,

but deliver us from hangovers.

For thine is the beer,

The bitter and the lager,

For ever and ever,

Barmen.

Let us bow our heads...

State of the Union

I actually watched most of the State of the Union address last night... instead of the 4 or 6 minutes I usually put into it.

The reason was that Bush actually had to compromise a little this year. For the past 6 years, he could pretty much say whatever the Republicans wanted him to say since they had all the power.

This year, you could actually hear some cracking in his back as he tried to bend over backwards to steer clear of impeachment.

I especially liked his "20 in 10" proposal... limit the US gas use by 20% in the next 10 years. Great idea!!

Wait... weren't you the one who pushed through an energy bill with so many loopholes for energy companies and other entities that it more than offset the 1.8 mpg improvements you required for SUV's and "light trucks"... by 2011?

Well, regardless of your past "initiatives"... if you actually follow through with this proposal, it will help everyone in the world.

As for the Health Insurance Tax Reform initiative... or whatever you're calling it... I'm not so sure I like its current version. But I think it's a step in the right direction.

As it stand now, though, it seems that you would like the middle class to purchase health insurance for the poor. I don't have a problem pitching in to help them out, and lower health care costs for everyone in the process... but shouldn't the people who can help the easiest also lend a hand???

The middle class are the people who are losing ground the fastest in this country, and your proposal will help dwindle their spendable income just a little more. Plus, I don't know how it works in your large, rich, fortune 500 companies, but out here in the real world, it's quite rare for an employer to fully fund the cost of an employee's health insurance... unless of course you're part of a union that has negotiated for decades to make this part of the overall compensation package. So what I take from your proposal is that you'd like the union members and the middle class to "resolve" the current problem of 45+ million uninsured Americans, and lower themselves in the class wars just a little more...

You know what's sad... we're probably willing to do it. Because we're compassionate and patriotic citizens who are willing to go out of our way to help a fellow American...

Oh, and in case you missed the speech... here's a link to it on YouTube

C'mon... do it again

They weren't here to start no trouble... they just wanted to dance!

1985 Chicago Bears

I wonder what an NFL Team would release today if they were to do a song and dance number... for some reason the song "Sexy Back" comes to mind, but I'm not sure why...

maybe because it has been beaten into my head for the past year.

Well, it's official... I've found my cold threshold.

I drove all night from DC on Thursday night to Vermont so I could hit the slopes for the weekend (now that they actually have some natural snow and have been able to blow enough to open 50% of the mountains).

Yesterday's weather made the entire drive worth it. Highs around 30 degrees, a little fresh snow, and just a little wind.

Today, however, not so good. As of now, the temperature at the top of the mountain is around 12 degrees and the winds are blowing consistently between 20 and 30 mph, with 50+ mph gusts. At least they didn't close the lifts... but from what I hear, it was close.

Tonight, we get to warm up in style... Jager-style!! and watch one of the most interesting performers I've seen in a long time. His name is Bruce Jacques, and he's pretty much a one man entertainment machine. Check out his website... www.brucejacques.com and see for yourself. He plays here at Mt. Snow every weekend at the mountain bar (yeah, there's pretty much only one).

Tonight... we drink and laugh... tomorrow... we pop Advil and hit the slopes for the AM... then hit the road for the PM.

I hope you all are having a great (and warm) weekend!

Paging...

I work in a hospital... but I'm not a doctor, nor do I want to be.

Anyway, I'm sitting at my desk this afternoon and the following page comes across the intercom:

Paging Mr. Johnson... Mr. Harry Johnson... please return to your unit

Fortunately for me, my coworker was in our office or I might have fallen out of my chair and hurt myself. So, Dr. Su... thank you for being here for me.

I'm assuming that this was a serious page, and not some joke being played by one of the more interesting characters who work around here... but one can never be too sure. I heard Neil Diamond get paged once, too...

So if that is your name... wouldn't you go by Harold?

And just what was Harold doing away from his unit?